詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析(1)
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前 言
詩篇新譯(中英對照)已於2019年2月4日農年除夕上佈樂格完成, 且裝訂成冊, 大家分享.
再細加校閱, 確較美善流暢, 通順可讀, 惟僅中英對照, 未見原譯, 無法比較, 難窺潤飾修正之
全豹, 稍嫌不足.
農年後, 靈修讀經, 讀到詩篇, 蒙聖靈激勵, 應對詩篇譯文瑕疵, 進一步剖析, 閒來無事,
乃作 "詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析" 就瑕疵譯文依新譯、原譯、英文和說明四大項, 分條剖析, 總共
162則, 逐日上佈樂格, 大家分享, 祈我屬靈先進, 不吝賜教斧正, 以彰主道, 榮耀歸主.
本文亦可作 " 詩篇新譯(中英對照)" 註釋, 互相對照比較, 細細玩味, 以增果效.
1. 2:1 新譯: 列國為何圖謀叛神?
萬民為何妄想造反?
原譯: 外邦為甚麼爭鬧?
萬民為甚麼謀算虛妄的事?
英文: Why do the nations conspire
and the peoples plot in vain?
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔工整, 應加改正.
1. conspire 應譯 "圖謀" 非"爭鬧"
2. plot in vain 應譯 "妄想造反" 非"謀算虛妄的事"
2. 3:3-4 新譯: 但耶和華啊!
你是我四圍的盾牌,
賜我榮耀使我抬頭.
我向耶和華大聲呼求,
衪就從聖山上回應我.
原譯: 但耶和華是我四圍的盾牌,
是我的榮耀
又是叫我抬起頭來的.
我用我的聲音求告耶和華,
他就從他的聖山上應允我.
英文: But you are a shield around me,
O Lord;
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
To the Lord I cry aloud,
and he answers me from his holy hill.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整簡潔, 應改正重譯.
1. bestow glory 應譯 "賜我榮耀" 非 "是我的榮耀"
2. lift up my head 譯 "使我抬頭," 較 "又是叫我抬起頭來的" 通順簡潔.
3. I cry aloud 譯 "大聲呼求" 較 "我用我的聲音求告" 通順簡潔.
4. answers 譯 "回應" 較 "應允" 恰切.
3. 4:1 新譯: 我公義的神啊,
我呼求時求你回應我!
求你解救我脫離困苦,
憐憫我垂聽我的禱告.
原譯: 願我為義的神啊,
我呼籲的時候, 求你應允我!
我在困苦中, 你曾使我寬廣,
現在求你憐恤我, 聽我的禱告.
英文: Answer me when I calll to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應改正重譯.
1. O my righteous God 譯 "我公義的神啊" 較 "願我為義的神啊" 通順明快.
2. Answer…Call 譯 "呼求…回應" 較 "呼籲…應允" 通俗達意.
3. Give me relief from my distress
應譯 "求你解救我脫離困苦" 非 "我在困苦中, 你曾使我寬廣"
"使我寬廣" 不知何意.
4. 4:2-3 新譯: 世人啊!
你們將我尊榮化為羞辱,
要到幾時呢?
你們喜愛虛妄追求假神,
要到幾時呢?
你們大家都要知道,
耶和華將虔敬的人
分別出來歸給自己.
我呼求時祂必垂聽.
原譯: 你們這上流人哪!
你們將我的尊榮變為羞辱要到幾時呢?
你們喜愛虛妄尋找虛假要到幾時呢?
你們要知道, 耶和華已經分別
虔誠人歸他自己.
我求告耶和華, 他必聽我.
英文: How long,
O men,
will you turn my glory into shame?
How long
will you love delusions and seek false gods?
Know that
the Lord has set apart
the godly for himself;
The Lord will hear when I call to him.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應改正重譯.
1. O men 應譯 "世人啊" 非 "你們這上流人哪"
2. seek false gods 應譯 "追求假神" 非 "尋找虛假"
3. hear 譯 "垂聽" 較 "聽我" 恰切.
5. 5:1-3 新譯: 耶和華啊!
求你傾聽我的話,
並細聽我的嘆息.
我的王我的神啊!
求你垂聽我呼求,
因我正向你禱告.
耶和華啊! 你清晨就聽見我的聲音,
我一早就向你提出請求,
並靜候你的回應.
原譯: 耶和華啊,
求你留心聽我的言語,
顧念我的心思.
我的王我的神啊,
求你垂聽我呼求的聲音,
因為我向你祈禱!
耶和華啊! 早晨你必聽我的聲音;
早晨我必向你陳明我的心意,
並要警醒.
英文: O Lord,
Give ear to my words,
consider my signing.
Listen to my cry for help,
My King and my God,
for to you I pray.
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning, I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾修正.
1. sighing 應譯 "嘆息" 非 "心思"
2. Listen to my cry for help
譯 "求你垂聽我呼求" 較 "求你垂聽我呼求的聲音" 簡潔工整.
3. I lay my requests before you
應譯 "我向你提出請求" 非 "我必向你陳明我的心意"
4. wait in expectation 應呼應上句譯 "並靜侯你的回應" 非 "並要警醒"
6. 5:9-10 新譯: 他們口中沒句可信的話,
他們心中充滿毀滅惡念,
他們的喉嚨是敞開墳墓,
他們的舌頭說詭詐的話.
神啊, 求你定他們的罪!
願他們因自己詭詐傾覆;
他們惡貫滿盈逐出他們,
因為他們悖逆背叛了你.
原譯: 因為他們口中沒有誠實,
他們心裏滿有邪惡,
他們的喉嚨是敞開墳墓,
他們的舌頭諂媚人.
神啊, 求你定他們的罪.
願他們因自己的計謀跌倒;
願你在他們許多的過犯中把他們逐出,
因為他們背叛了你.
英文: Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;
their heart is filled with destruction.
Their throat is an open grave;
with their tongue they speak deceit.
Declare them guilty, O God!
Let their intrigues be their down fall.
Banish them for their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
1. Not a word from their mouth can be trusted
應譯 "他們口中沒句可信的話" 非 "因為他們口中沒有誠實"
2. their heart is filled with destruction
應譯 "他們心中充滿毀滅惡念" 非 "他們心裏滿有邪惡"
3. with their tongue they speak deceit
應譯 "他們的舌頭說詭詐的話" 非 "他們的舌頭諂媚人"
4. their intrigues be their downfall
譯 "願他們因自己詭詐傾覆" 較 "願他們因自己的計謀跌倒" 切合原意.
5. their many sins 譯 "他們惡貫滿盈" 較 "在他們許多的過犯中" 簡潔鏗鏘有力.
7. 6:2-3 新譯: 耶和華啊! 求你憐憫我, 因我身體軟弱;
耶和華啊! 求你醫治我, 因我週身疼痛.
我的靈也萬分痛苦,
耶和華啊! 這要到幾時呢?
原譯: 耶和華啊! 求你可憐我, 因為我軟弱;
耶和華啊! 求你醫治我, 因為我的骨頭發戰!
我心也大大地驚惶. 耶和華啊!
你要到幾時才救我呢?
英文: Be meciful to me, Lord, for I am faint;
O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O Lord, how long?
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
1. bones are in agony 應譯 "週身疼痛" 非 "骨頭發戰"
2. My soul is in anguish 應譯 "我的靈也萬分痛苦" 非 "我心也大大地驚惶"
3. how long? 譯 "這要到幾時呢?" 較 "你要到幾時才救我呢" 切合原意.
8. 6:6-7 新譯: 我因呻吟精疲力竭;
我整夜在痛哭流涕,
淚水弄濕我的床褥.
我因憂傷過度, 視力衰退;
又因仇敵眾多, 眼目昏花.
原譯: 我因唉哼而困乏;
我每夜流淚, 把床榻漂起,
把褥子濕透.
我因憂愁眼睛乾癟;
又因我一切的敵人眼睛昏花.
英文: I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of my foes.
說明: 原譯有誤, 欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
1. I am worn out from groaning
譯 "我因呻吟精疲力竭" 較 "我因唉哼而困乏" 恰切雅達.
2. I flood my bed with weeping
應譯 "我整夜在痛哭流涕" 非 "我每夜流淚, 把床榻漂起"
第6節2,3句合譯 "床褥" 下句顯出.
3. drench my couch with tears
譯 "淚水弄濕我的床褥" 較 "把褥子濕透" 切合原意.
4. My eyes grow weak with sorrow
應譯 "我因憂傷過度, 視力衰退" 非 "我因憂愁眼睛乾癟"
9. 7:3-5 新譯: 耶和華我的神啊!
若我作了這事, 手中滿是罪孽;
我若以惡回報我好友,
或無故掠奪我的仇敵;
就任憑仇敵追趕上我,
把我的性命踐踏地上,
並且使我葬身塵土中.
原譯: 耶和華我的神啊, 我若行了這事,
若有罪孽在我手裏.
我若以惡報那與我交好的人,
(連那或無故與我為敵的, 我也救了他.)
就任憑仇敵追趕我, 直到追上,
將我的性命踏在地下,
使我的榮耀歸於塵土.
英文: O Lord my God, if I have done this
and there is guilt on my hands -
if I have done evil to him who is at peace with me
or without cause have robbed my foe -
then let my enemy pursue and overtake me;
let him trample my life to the ground
and make me sleep in the dust.
說明: 原譯有誤, 欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
1. there is guilt on my hands 應譯 "手中滿是罪孽" 非 "若有罪孽在我手裏"
2. 第2句完全誤譯, 用括號費解, 應改譯如新譯.
3. make me sleep in the dust 應譯 "使我葬身塵土中" 非 "使我的榮耀歸於灰塵"
10. 7:6-9 新譯: 耶和華啊! 求你怒中起來,
挺身為我抵擋仇敵的狂暴;
我的神啊! 求你醒起, 下令施行審判.
願聚會百姓環你四週,
讓你在高處統治他們;
也願耶和華審判眾民,
耶和華啊! 求你按公義審判我,
至高神啊! 求你按品格審判我.
公義的神啊! 你看透人心肺腑,
求你制止惡人暴行,
好讓義人安全無虞.
原譯: 耶和華啊! 求你在怒中起來,
挺身而立, 抵擋我敵人的暴怒!
求你你為我興起, 你已經命定施行審判!
願眾民的會環繞你,
願你從其上歸於高位!
耶和華向眾民施行審判.
耶和華啊! 求你按我的公義
和我心中的純正判斷我.
願惡人的惡斷絕;
願你堅立義人!
因公義的神察驗人的肺腑.
英文: Arise, O Lord, in your anger;
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God, decree justice.
Let the assembled peoples gather around you.
Rule over them from on high;
let the Lord judge the peoples.
Judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness,
according to my integrity. O Most high.
O righteous God, who searches minds and hearts,
bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure.
說明: 原譯有誤, 欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
1. drcree justice 譯 "下令施行審判" 較 "你已經命定施行審判" 簡潔通順易解.
2. Let the assembled peoples gather around you
應譯 "願聚會百姓環你四週" 非 "願眾民的會環繞你"
3. Rule over them from on high
應譯 "讓你在高處統治他們" 非 "願你從其上歸於高位"
4. Judge 譯 "審判" 較 "判斷" 切合原意.
integrity 應譯 "品格" 非 "心中的純正"
5. searches 譯 "看透" 較 "察驗" 切合原意.
6. bring to an end the violence of the wicked 譯 "制止惡人的暴行" 較 "惡人的惡斷絕" 雅達.
7. make the righteous secure 應譯 "好讓義人安全無虞" 非 "堅立義人"
11. 7:14-16 新譯: 惡人懷惡胎,
孕育災難, 生下虛妄.
他挖泥撥土掘坑穴,
讓己掉入自掘坑中!
引起災難必反彈自己身上,
施行強暴必落在自己頭上.
原譯: 試看惡人因奸惡而劬勞,
所懷的是毒害,
所生的是虛假.
他掘了坑, 又挖深了,
竟掉在自己所掘的阱裏.
他的毒害必臨到自己的頭上,
他的強暴必落到自己的腦袋上.
英文: He who is pregnant with evil
and conceive trouble gives birth to disillusionment.
he who digs a hole and scoops it out
falls into the pit he has made.
The trouble he causes recoils on himself
his violence comes down on his own head.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. He who is pregnant with evil 應譯 "惡人懷惡胎" 非 "試看惡人因奸惡而劬勞"
2. conceive trouble 應譯 "孕育災難" 非 "所懷的是毒害"
3. gives birth to disillusionment 譯 "生下虛妄" 較 "所生的是虛假" 簡明恰切.
4. trouble 應譯 "災難" 非 "毒害"
5. recoils 應譯 "反彈" 非 "臨到"
6. on himself 譯 "自己身上" 較 "自己的頭上" 切合原意.
on his own head 譯 "自己頭上" 較 "自己的腦袋上" 雅達.
12. 8:2 新譯: 你彰顯榮耀於高天,
為了對付你的敵人,
你從嬰童口中得讚美,
使你的仇敵閉口無言.
原譯: 你將你的榮耀彰顯於天,
你因敵人的緣故,
從嬰孩和吃奶的口中建立了能力,
使仇敵和報仇的閉口無言.
英文: You have set your glory above the heavens.
From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise.
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and avenger.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 混淆不清, 應修飾重譯.
1. because of your enemies 譯 "為了對付你的敵人" 較 "你因敵人的緣故" 恰切工整.
2. children and infants 譯 "嬰童" 較 "嬰孩和吃奶的" 雅達.
3. ordained praise 應譯 "得到讚美" 非 "建立了能力"
4. the foe and avenger 譯 "仇敵" 較 "仇敵和報仇的" 簡明達意.
13. 8:6-8 新譯: 你派他管你手造的一切,
牛羊牲畜, 田野走獸,
空中飛鳥, 海裏游魚,
和海中水族等萬物,
都服在他的腳下.
原譯: 你派他管理你手造的,
使萬物, 就是一切的牛羊, 田野的獸,
空中的鳥, 海裏的魚,
凡經行海道的,
都服在他的腳下.
英文: You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under the feet:
all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air, all the fish of the sea,
All that swim the paths of the seas.
說明: 原譯混淆, 不夠清晰, 應修飾重譯, 使更有條理.
all that swin the paths of the sea.
原譯 "凡經行海道的" 不知所云, 應改譯 "海中水族" 簡明易解.
14. 9:5-6 新譯: 你斥責列國並滅絕惡人;
永遠永遠塗抹他們的名.
仇敵之地己成一片廢墟,
你連根拔起他們的城邑,
甚至完全湮滅消失在世.
原譯: 你曾斥責外邦, 你曾滅絕惡人;
你曾塗抹他們的名, 直到永遠永遠.
仇敵到了盡頭, 他們被毀壞,
直到永遠; 你拆毀他們的城邑,
連他們的名號都歸於無有.
英文: You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;
you have blotted out their name for ever and ever.
Endless ruin has overtaken the enemy,
you have uprooted their cities;
even the memory of them has perished.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 並欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正.
1. Endless ruin has overtaken the enemy
應譯 "仇敵之地己成一片廢墟" 非 "仇敵到了盡頭, 他們被毀壞, 直到永遠"
2. you have uprooted their cities
應譯 "你連根拔起他們的城邑" 非 "直到永遠, 你拆毀他們的城邑"
3. even the memory of them has perished
應譯 "甚至完全湮滅消失在世" 非 "連他們的名號都歸於無有"
15. 9:11-12 新譯: 歌頌在錫安為王的耶和華!
並在列國中傳揚祂的作為.
祂會記得去追討流人血的,
也不會忽視受苦者的呼求.
原譯: 應當歌頌居錫安的耶和華,
將他所行的傳揚在眾民中
因為那追討流人血之罪的,
他紀念受屈的人, 不忘記困苦人的哀求.
英文: Sing praise to the Lord, enthroned in Zion;
proclaim among the nations what he has done.
For he who avenges blood remembers;
he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
1. enthroned in Zion 應譯 "在錫安為王" 非 "居錫安的"
2. the nations 應譯 "列國" 非 "眾民"
3. the afflicted 譯 "受苦者" 較 "困苦人" 恰切.
16. 10:5-7 新譯: 可是他一路亨通興盛,
傲慢無禮, 無視你的律法;
也輕看他的仇敵.
他自言自語: "我永不動搖,
永遠享福, 無災無難."
他滿口咒詛謊言和恐嚇,
舌下盡是禍害邪惡.
原譯: 凡他所做的, 時常穩固;
你的審判超過他的眼界.
至於他一切的敵人, 他都向他們噴氣.
他心裏說: "我必不動搖,
世世代代不遭災難."
他滿口是咒罵、詭詐、欺壓,
舌底是毒害、奸惡.
英文: His ways are always prosperous;
he is haughty and your laws are far from him;
he sneers at all his enemies.
He says to himself, "Nothing will shake me;
I'll always be happy and never have trouble."
His mouth is full of curses and lies and threats;
trouble and evil are under his tongue.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. always prosperous 應譯 "一路亨通興盛" 非 "時常穩固"
2. he is haughty and your laws are far from him
應譯 "傲慢無禮, 無視你的律法;" 非 "你的審判超過他的眼界"
3. sneers 誤譯 "噴氣" 不雅, 應譯 "輕看" 才是原意.
4. He says to himself 譯 "他自言自語" 較 "他心裏說" 切合原意.
5. always be happy and never have trouble
譯 "永遠享福, 無災無難" 較 "世世代代不遭災難" 簡潔對稱工整達意.
6. curses and lies and threats 譯 "咒詛謊言和恐嚇" 較 "咒罵、詭詐、欺壓" 恰切.
7. trouble and evil 譯 "禍害邪惡" 較 "毒害、奸惡" 恰切.
17. 10:8-9 新譯: 他在村旁埋伏等候,
在隱密處殺害無辜,
並在暗中盯住獵物.
他像獅子埋伏在隱密處;
伺機捕捉困苦無助的人,
一旦捉住就拖入他的網中.
原譯: 他在村莊埋伏等候,
他在隱密處殺害無辜的人,
他的眼睛窺探無依無靠的人.
他埋伏在暗地, 如獅子蹲在洞中.
他埋伏, 要擄去困苦人;
他拉網, 就把困苦人擄去.
英文: He lies in wait near the village;
from ambush he murders the innocent,
watching in secret for his victims.
He has in wait like a lion in cover,
he lies in wait to catch the helpless;
he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
1. watching in secret for his victims
應譯 "並在暗中盯住獵物" 非 "他的眼睛窺探無依無靠的人"
2. He has in wait like a lion in cover
應譯 "他像獅子埋伏在隱密處" 非 "他埋伏在暗地, 如獅子蹲在洞中"
3. he lies in wait to catch the helpless 應譯 "伺機" 非 "埋伏"
應譯 "伺機捕捉困苦無助的人" 非 "他埋伏, 要擄去困苦人"
4. he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net
應譯 "一旦捉住就拖入他的網中" 非 "他拉網, 就把困苦人擄去"
18. 10:10-11 新譯: 他摔壓獵物使之昏迷不醒,
失去知覺倒在他爪牙之下.
他又自言自語:
"神已忘了, 祂掩面永不察看."
原譯: 他屈身蹲伏,
無依無靠的人就倒在他爪牙之下.
他心裏說: "神竟忘記了,
他掩面永不觀看."
英文: His victims are crushed, they collaspse;
they fall under his strength.
He says to himself, "God has forgotten;
he covers his face and never see."
說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. His victims are crushed, they collaspse; they fall under his strength
應譯 "他摔壓獵物使之昏迷不醒, 失去知覺倒在他爪牙之下"
非 "他屈身蹲伏, 無依無靠的人就倒在他爪牙之下"
未將 collapse "昏迷" 譯出, 應補上.
2. sees 應譯 "察看" 較 "觀看" 切合原意.
19. 10:14-15 新譯: 神啊!
你確看見憂患愁苦,
而且親手加以掌控;
受害的人都來向你投靠,
因你一向幫助無父孤兒.
求你打斷惡人和壞人的膀臂,
並追究他們隱而不顯的惡行.
原譯: 神啊!
其實你已經觀看, 因為奸惡毒害,
你都看見了, 為要以手施行報應.
無依無靠的人把自己交託你,
你向來要幫助孤兒的.
願你打斷惡人的膀臂,
至於壞人, 願你追究他的惡, 直到淨盡.
英文: But you, O God,
do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
Break the arm of the wicked and evil man;
說明: 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. trouble and grief 應譯 "憂患愁苦" 非 "奸惡毒害"
2. take it in hand 應譯 "掌控" 非 "以手施行報應"
3. The victim commits himself to you 應譯 "受害的人" 非 "無依無靠的人"
應譯 "受害的人都來向你投靠" 非 "無依無靠的人把自己交託你"
4. Break the arm of the wicked and evil man 未將 evil man 譯出, 應補上.
5. would not be found out 應譯 "隱而不顯" 非 "直到淨盡"
20. 10:17-18 新譯: 耶和華啊!
求你垂聽困苦者的心聲,
堅固他們的心志,
傾聽他們的呼求.
護佑孤兒及受欺壓者,
使地上的人不再恐懼.
原譯: 耶和華啊! 謙卑人的心願,
你早已知道,
你必預備他們的心,
也必側耳聽他們的祈求.
為要給孤兒和受欺壓的人伸冤,
使強橫的人不再威嚇他們.
英文: You hear, O Lord,
the desire of the afflicted;
you encourge them,
and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
說明: 原譯西式語氣太重,且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. hear 應譯 "垂聽" 非 "早已知道" / the afflicted 應譯 "困苦者" 非 "謙卑人"
2. you encourage them 譯 "堅固他們的心志" 較 "你必預備他們的心" 切合原意.
3. in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more
應譯 "使地上的人不再恐懼" 非 "使強橫的人不再威嚇他們"
man, who is of the earth 應譯 "地上的人" 非 "強橫的人"