詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析(1)

                               詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析(1)

                                                            前 言

      詩篇新譯(中英對照)已於2019年2月4日農年除夕上佈樂格完成, 且裝訂成冊, 大家分享.
再細加校閱, 確較美善流暢, 通順可讀, 惟僅中英對照, 未見原譯, 無法比較, 難窺潤飾修正之
全豹, 稍嫌不足.
      農年後, 靈修讀經, 讀到詩篇, 蒙聖靈激勵, 應對詩篇譯文瑕疵, 進一步剖析, 閒來無事,
乃作 "詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析" 就瑕疵譯文依新譯、原譯、英文和說明四大項, 分條剖析, 逐日
上佈樂格, 大家分享, 祈我屬靈先進, 不吝賜教斧正, 以彰主道, 榮耀歸主.
       本文亦可作 " 詩篇新譯(中英對照)" 註釋, 互相對照比較, 細細玩味, 以增果效.

1.   2:1    新譯: 列國為何圖謀叛神?
                       萬民為何妄想造反?
             原譯: 外邦為甚麼爭鬧?
                       萬民為甚麼謀算虛妄的事?
             英文: Why do the nations conspire
                      and the peoples plot in vain?
             說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔工整, 應加改正.
                      1. conspire 應譯 "圖謀" 非"爭鬧"
                      2. plot in vain 應譯 "妄想造反" 非"謀算虛妄的事"

2.   3:3-4 新譯: 但耶和華啊!
                         你是我四圍的盾牌,
                         賜我榮耀使我抬頭.
                         我向耶和華大聲呼求,
                         衪就從聖山上回應我.
               原譯: 但耶和華是我四圍的盾牌,
                         是我的榮耀
                         又是叫我抬起頭來的.
                         我用我的聲音求告耶和華,
                         他就從他的聖山上應允我.
               英文: But you are a shield around me,
                         O Lord;
                         you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
                         To the Lord I cry aloud,
                         and he answers me from his holy hill.
               說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整簡潔, 應改正重譯.
                        1. bestow glory 應譯 "賜我榮耀" 非 "是我的榮耀"
                        2. lift up my head 譯 "使我抬頭," 較 "又是叫我抬起頭來的" 通順簡潔.
                        3. I cry aloud 譯 "大聲呼求" 較 "我用我的聲音求告" 通順簡潔.
                        4. answers 譯 "回應" 較 "應允" 恰切.

3.   4:1      新譯: 我公義的神啊,
                          我呼求時求你回應我!
                          求你解救我脫離困苦,
                           憐憫我垂聽我的禱告.
                原譯: 願我為義的神啊,
                          我呼籲的時候, 求你應允我!
                          我在困苦中, 你曾使我寬廣,
                          現在求你憐恤我, 聽我的禱告.
                英文: Answer me when I calll to you,
                         O my righteous God.
                         Give me relief from my distress;
                         be merciful to me and hear my prayer.
                說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應改正重譯.
                          1. O my righteous God 譯 "我公義的神啊" 較 "願我為義的神啊" 通順明快.
                          2. Answer…Call 譯 "呼求…回應" 較 "呼籲…應允" 通俗達意.
                          3. Give me relief from my distress
                              應譯 "求你解救我脫離困苦" 非 "我在困苦中, 你曾使我寬廣"
                             "使我寬廣" 不知何意.

4.   4:2-3   新譯: 世人啊!
                         你們將我尊榮化為羞辱,
                         要到幾時呢?
                         你們喜愛虛妄追求假神,
                         要到幾時呢?
                         你們大家都要知道,
                         耶和華將虔敬的人
                         分別出來歸給自己.
                         我呼求時祂必垂聽.
                原譯: 你們這上流人哪!
                         你們將我的尊榮變為羞辱要到幾時呢?
                         你們喜愛虛妄尋找虛假要到幾時呢?
                         你們要知道, 耶和華已經分別
                         虔誠人歸他自己.
                         我求告耶和華, 他必聽我.
                英文: How long,
                          O men,
                          will you turn my glory into shame?
                          How long
                          will you love delusions and seek false gods?
                          Know that
                          the Lord has set apart
                          the godly for himself;
                          The Lord will hear when I call to him.
                 說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應改正重譯.
                          1. O men 應譯 "世人啊" 非 "你們這上流人哪"
                          2. seek false gods 應譯 "追求假神" 非 "尋找虛假"
                          3. hear 譯 "垂聽" 較 "聽我" 恰切.

5.   5:1-3 新譯: 耶和華啊!
                        求你傾聽我的話,
                        並細聽我的嘆息.
                        我的王我的神啊!
                        求你垂聽我呼求,
                        因我正向你禱告.
                        耶和華啊! 你清晨就聽見我的聲音,
                        我一早就向你提出請求,
                       並靜候你的回應.
               原譯: 耶和華啊,
                         求你留心聽我的言語,
                         顧念我的心思.
                         我的王我的神啊,
                         求你垂聽我呼求的聲音,
                         因為我向你祈禱!
                         耶和華啊! 早晨你必聽我的聲音;
                         早晨我必向你陳明我的心意,
                         並要警醒.
               英文: O Lord,
                         Give ear to my words,
                         consider my signing.
                         Listen to my cry for help,
                         My King and my God,
                         for to you I pray.
                         In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;
                         in the morning, I lay my requests before you
                         and wait in expectation.
               說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾修正.
                       1. sighing 應譯 "嘆息" 非 "心思"
                       2. Listen to my cry for help
                           譯 "求你垂聽我呼求" 較 "求你垂聽我呼求的聲音" 簡潔工整.
                       3. I lay my requests before you
                           應譯 "我向你提出請求" 非 "我必向你陳明我的心意"
                       4. wait in expectation 應呼應上句譯 "並靜侯你的回應" 非 "並要警醒"

6.   5:9-10 新譯: 他們口中沒句可信的話,
                         他們心中充滿毀滅惡念,
                         他們的喉嚨是敞開墳墓,
                         他們的舌頭說詭詐的話.
                         神啊, 求你定他們的罪!
                         願他們因自己詭詐傾覆;
                         他們惡貫滿盈逐出他們,
                         因為他們悖逆背叛了你.
                 原譯: 因為他們口中沒有誠實,
                         他們心裏滿有邪惡,
                         他們的喉嚨是敞開墳墓,
                         他們的舌頭諂媚人.
                         神啊, 求你定他們的罪.
                         願他們因自己的計謀跌倒;
                         願你在他們許多的過犯中把他們逐出,
                         因為他們背叛了你.
                 英文: Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;
                          their heart is filled with destruction.
                         Their throat is an open grave;
                          with their tongue they speak deceit.
                         Declare them guilty, O God!
                         Let their intrigues be their down fall.
                         Banish them for their many sins,
                         for they have rebelled against you.
                 說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
                         1. Not a word from their mouth can be trusted
                             應譯 "他們口中沒句可信的話" 非 "因為他們口中沒有誠實"
                         2. their heart is filled with destruction
                             應譯 "他們心中充滿毀滅惡念" 非 "他們心裏滿有邪惡"
                         3. with their tongue they speak deceit
                             應譯 "他們的舌頭說詭詐的話" 非 "他們的舌頭諂媚人"
                         4. their intrigues be their downfall
                             譯 "願他們因自己詭詐傾覆" 較 "願他們因自己的計謀跌倒" 切合原意.
                         5. their many sins 譯 "他們惡貫滿盈" 較 "在他們許多的過犯中" 簡潔鏗鏘有力.

7.   6:2-3 新譯: 耶和華啊! 求你憐憫我, 因我身體軟弱;
                        耶和華啊! 求你醫治我, 因我週身疼痛.
                        我的靈也萬分痛苦,
                        耶和華啊! 這要到幾時呢?
              原譯: 耶和華啊! 求你可憐我, 因為我軟弱;
                        耶和華啊! 求你醫治我, 因為我的骨頭發戰!
                        我心也大大地驚惶. 耶和華啊!
                        你要到幾時才救我呢?
              英文: Be meciful to me, Lord, for I am faint;
                       O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
                       My soul is in anguish.
                       How long, O Lord, how long?
              說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
                       1. bones are in agony 應譯 "週身疼痛" 非 "骨頭發戰"
                       2. My soul is in anguish 應譯 "我的靈也萬分痛苦" 非 "我心也大大地驚惶"
                       3. how long? 譯 "這要到幾時呢?" 較 "你要到幾時才救我呢" 切合原意.

8.   6:6-7  新譯: 我因呻吟精疲力竭;
                         我整夜在痛哭流涕,
                         淚水弄濕我的床褥.
                         我因憂傷過度, 視力衰退;
                         又因仇敵眾多, 眼目昏花.
               原譯: 我因唉哼而困乏;
                         我每夜流淚, 把床榻漂起,
                         把褥子濕透.
                         我因憂愁眼睛乾癟;
                         又因我一切的敵人眼睛昏花.
               英文: I am worn out from groaning;
                         all night long I flood my bed with weeping
                         and drench my couch with tears.
                         My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
                         they fail because of my foes.

               說明: 原譯有誤, 欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
                       1. I am worn out from groaning
                           譯 "我因呻吟精疲力竭" 較 "我因唉哼而困乏" 恰切雅達.
                       2. I flood my bed with weeping
                           應譯 "我整夜在痛哭流涕" 非 "我每夜流淚, 把床榻漂起"
                           第6節2,3句合譯 "床褥" 下句顯出.
                       3. drench my couch with tears
                           譯 "淚水弄濕我的床褥" 較 "把褥子濕透" 切合原意.
                       4. My eyes grow weak with sorrow
                           應譯 "我因憂傷過度, 視力衰退" 非 "我因憂愁眼睛乾癟"

9.   7:3-5 新譯: 耶和華我的神啊!
                         若我作了這事, 手中滿是罪孽;
                         我若以惡回報我好友,
                         或無故掠奪我的仇敵;
                         就任憑仇敵追趕上我,
                         把我的性命踐踏地上,
                         並且使我葬身塵土中.
                 原譯: 耶和華我的神啊, 我若行了這事,
                          若有罪孽在我手裏.
                          我若以惡報那與我交好的人,
                         (連那或無故與我為敵的, 我也救了他.)
                           就任憑仇敵追趕我, 直到追上,
                           將我的性命踏在地下,
                           使我的榮耀歸於塵土.
                  英文: O Lord my God, if I have done this
                           and there is guilt on my hands -
                           if I have done evil to him who is at peace with me
                           or without cause have robbed my foe -
                           then let my enemy pursue and overtake me;
                           let him trample my life to the ground
                           and make me sleep in the dust.
                   說明: 原譯有誤, 欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
                            1. there is guilt on my hands 應譯 "手中滿是罪孽" 非 "若有罪孽在我手裏"
                            2. 第2句完全誤譯, 用括號費解, 應改譯如新譯.
                            3. make me sleep in the dust 應譯 "使我葬身塵土中" 非 "使我的榮耀歸於灰塵"

10. 7:6-9    新譯: 耶和華啊! 求你怒中起來,
                             挺身為我抵擋仇敵的狂暴;
                             我的神啊! 求你醒起, 下令施行審判.
                             願聚會百姓環你四週,
                             讓你在高處統治他們;
                             也願耶和華審判眾民,
                             耶和華啊! 求你按公義審判我,
                             至高神啊! 求你按品格審判我.
                             公義的神啊! 你看透人心肺腑,
                             求你制止惡人暴行,
                             好讓義人安全無虞.
                   原譯: 耶和華啊! 求你在怒中起來,
                             挺身而立, 抵擋我敵人的暴怒!
                             求你你為我興起, 你已經命定施行審判!
                              願眾民的會環繞你,
                              願你從其上歸於高位!
                              耶和華向眾民施行審判.
                              耶和華啊! 求你按我的公義
                              和我心中的純正判斷我.
                              願惡人的惡斷絕;
                              願你堅立義人!
                              因公義的神察驗人的肺腑.
                    英文: Arise, O Lord, in your anger;
                             rise up against the rage of my enemies.
                             Awake, my God, decree justice.
                             Let the assembled peoples gather around you.
                             Rule over them from on high;
                             let the Lord judge the peoples.
                             Judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness,
                             according to my integrity. O Most high.
                             O righteous God, who searches minds and hearts,
                             bring to an end the violence of the wicked
                             and make the righteous secure.
                     說明: 原譯有誤, 欠通順工整簡潔, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
                              1. drcree justice 譯 "下令施行審判" 較 "你已經命定施行審判" 簡潔通順易解.
                              2. Let the assembled peoples gather around you
                                  應譯 "願聚會百姓環你四週" 非 "願眾民的會環繞你"
                              3. Rule over them from on high
                                  應譯 "讓你在高處統治他們" 非 "願你從其上歸於高位"
                              4. Judge 譯 "審判" 較 "判斷" 切合原意.
                                  integrity 應譯 "品格" 非 "心中的純正"
                              5. searches 譯 "看透" 較 "察驗" 切合原意.
                             6. bring to an end the violence of the wicked 譯 "制止惡人的暴行" 較 "惡人的惡斷絕" 雅達.
                              7. make the righteous secure 應譯 "好讓義人安全無虞" 非 "堅立義人"

11.    7:14-16 新譯: 惡人懷惡胎,
                                孕育災難, 生下虛妄.
                                他挖泥撥土掘坑穴,
                                讓己掉入自掘坑中!
                                引起災難必反彈自己身上,
                                施行強暴必落在自己頭上.
                        原譯: 試看惡人因奸惡而劬勞,
                                 所懷的是毒害,
                                 所生的是虛假.
                                 他掘了坑, 又挖深了,
                                 竟掉在自己所掘的阱裏.
                                 他的毒害必臨到自己的頭上,
                                 他的強暴必落到自己的腦袋上.
                         英文: He who is pregnant with evil
                                  and conceive trouble gives birth to disillusionment.
                                  he who digs a hole and scoops it out
                                  falls into the pit he has made.
                                  The trouble he causes recoils on himself
                                  his violence comes down on his own head.
                         說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
                                  1. He who is pregnant with evil 應譯 "惡人懷惡胎" 非 "試看惡人因奸惡而劬勞"
                                  2. conceive trouble 應譯 "孕育災難" 非 "所懷的是毒害"
                                  3. gives birth to disillusionment 譯 "生下虛妄" 較 "所生的是虛假" 簡明恰切.
                                  4. trouble 應譯 "災難" 非 "毒害"
                                  5. recoils 應譯 "反彈" 非 "臨到"
                                  6. on himself 譯 "自己身上" 較 "自己的頭上" 切合原意.
                                      on his own head 譯 "自己頭上" 較 "自己的腦袋上" 雅達.

12.    8:2   新譯: 你彰顯榮耀於高天,
                           為了對付你的敵人,
                           你從嬰童口中得讚美,
                           使你的仇敵閉口無言.
                  原譯: 你將你的榮耀彰顯於天,
                           你因敵人的緣故,
                           從嬰孩和吃奶的口中建立了能力,
                           使仇敵和報仇的閉口無言.
                  英文: You have set your glory above the heavens.
                            From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise.
                            because of your enemies,
                            to silence the foe and avenger.
                   說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 混淆不清, 應修飾重譯.
                            1. because of your enemies 譯 "為了對付你的敵人" 較 "你因敵人的緣故" 恰切工整.
                            2. children and infants 譯 "嬰童" 較 "嬰孩和吃奶的" 雅達.
                            3. ordained praise 應譯 "得到讚美" 非 "建立了能力"
                            4. the foe and avenger 譯 "仇敵" 較 "仇敵和報仇的" 簡明達意.

13. 8:6-8 新譯: 你派他管你手造的一切,
                          牛羊牲畜, 田野走獸,
                          空中飛鳥, 海裏游魚,
                          和海中水族等萬物,
                          都服在他的腳下.
                原譯: 你派他管理你手造的,
                          使萬物, 就是一切的牛羊, 田野的獸,
                          空中的鳥, 海裏的魚,
                          凡經行海道的,
                          都服在他的腳下.
                英文: You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
                          you put everything under the feet:
                          all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field,
                          the birds of the air, all the fish of the sea,
                          All that swim the paths of the seas.
                說明: 原譯混淆, 不夠清晰, 應修飾重譯, 使更有條理.
                         all that swin the paths of the sea.
                         原譯 "凡經行海道的" 不知所云, 應改譯 "海中水族" 簡明易解.

14.    9:5-6 新譯: 你斥責列國並滅絕惡人;
                              永遠永遠塗抹他們的名.
                              仇敵之地己成一片廢墟,
                              你連根拔起他們的城邑,
                              甚至完全湮滅消失在世.
                   原譯: 你曾斥責外邦, 你曾滅絕惡人;
                              你曾塗抹他們的名, 直到永遠永遠.
                              仇敵到了盡頭, 他們被毀壞,
                              直到永遠; 你拆毀他們的城邑,
                              連他們的名號都歸於無有.
                    英文: You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;
                               you have blotted out their name for ever and ever.
                               Endless ruin has overtaken the enemy,
                               you have uprooted their cities;
                               even the memory of them has perished.
                    說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 並欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正.
                            1. Endless ruin has overtaken the enemy
                                應譯 "仇敵之地己成一片廢墟" 非 "仇敵到了盡頭, 他們被毀壞, 直到永遠"
                            2. you have uprooted their cities
                                應譯 "你連根拔起他們的城邑" 非 "直到永遠, 你拆毀他們的城邑"
                            3. even the memory of them has perished
                                應譯 "甚至完全湮滅消失在世" 非 "連他們的名號都歸於無有"

15.   9:11-12  新譯: 歌頌在錫安為王的耶和華!
                                 並在列國中傳揚祂的作為.
                                 祂會記得去追討流人血的,
                                 也不會忽視受苦者的呼求.
                       原譯: 應當歌頌居錫安的耶和華,
                                 將他所行的傳揚在眾民中
                                 因為那追討流人血之罪的,
                                 他紀念受屈的人, 不忘記困苦人的哀求.
                       英文: Sing praise to the Lord, enthroned in Zion;
                                 proclaim among the nations what he has done.
                                 For he who avenges blood remembers;
                                 he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted.
                       說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
                              1. enthroned in Zion 應譯 "在錫安為王" 非 "居錫安的"
                              2. the nations 應譯 "列國" 非 "眾民"
                              3. the afflicted 譯 "受苦者" 較 "困苦人" 恰切.

16. 10:5-7      新譯: 可是他一路亨通興盛,
                                傲慢無禮, 無視你的律法;
                                也輕看他的仇敵.
                                他自言自語: "我永不動搖,
                                永遠享福, 無災無難."
                                他滿口咒詛謊言和恐嚇,
                                舌下盡是禍害邪惡.
                       原譯: 凡他所做的, 時常穩固;
                                你的審判超過他的眼界.
                                至於他一切的敵人, 他都向他們噴氣.
                                他心裏說: "我必不動搖,
                                世世代代不遭災難."
                                他滿口是咒罵、詭詐、欺壓,
                                舌底是毒害、奸惡.
                        英文: His ways are always prosperous;
                                 he is haughty and your laws are far from him;
                                 he sneers at all his enemies.
                                 He says to himself, "Nothing will shake me;
                                 I'll always be happy and never have trouble."
                                 His mouth is full of curses and lies and threats;
                                 trouble and evil are under his tongue.
                        說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
                                1. always prosperous 應譯 "一路亨通興盛" 非 "時常穩固"
                                2. he is haughty and your laws are far from him
                                     應譯 "傲慢無禮, 無視你的律法;" 非 "你的審判超過他的眼界"
                                3. sneers 誤譯 "噴氣" 不雅, 應譯 "輕看" 才是原意.
                                4. He says to himself 譯 "他自言自語" 較 "他心裏說" 切合原意.
                                5. always be happy and never have trouble
                                      譯 "永遠享福, 無災無難" 較 "世世代代不遭災難" 簡潔對稱工整達意.
                                6. curses and lies and threats 譯 "咒詛謊言和恐嚇" 較 "咒罵、詭詐、欺壓" 恰切.
                                7. trouble and evil 譯 "禍害邪惡" 較 "毒害、奸惡" 恰切.

17. 10:8-9       新譯: 他在村旁埋伏等候,
                                 在隱密處殺害無辜,
                                 並在暗中盯住獵物.
                                 他像獅子埋伏在隱密處;
                                 伺機捕捉困苦無助的人,
                                 一旦捉住就拖入他的網中.
                         原譯: 他在村莊埋伏等候,
                                  他在隱密處殺害無辜的人,
                                  他的眼睛窺探無依無靠的人.
                                  他埋伏在暗地, 如獅子蹲在洞中.
                                  他埋伏, 要擄去困苦人;
                                  他拉網, 就把困苦人擄去.
                          英文: He lies in wait near the village;
                                   from ambush he murders the innocent,
                                   watching in secret for his victims.
                                   He has in wait like a lion in cover,
                                   he lies in wait to catch the helpless;
                                   he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.
                           說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾修正如新譯.
                                    1. watching in secret for his victims
                                        應譯 "並在暗中盯住獵物" 非 "他的眼睛窺探無依無靠的人"
                                    2. He has in wait like a lion in cover
                                        應譯 "他像獅子埋伏在隱密處" 非 "他埋伏在暗地, 如獅子蹲在洞中"
                                    3. he lies in wait to catch the helpless 應譯 "伺機" 非 "埋伏"
                                        應譯 "伺機捕捉困苦無助的人" 非 "他埋伏, 要擄去困苦人"
                                    4. he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net
                                        應譯 "一旦捉住就拖入他的網中" 非 "他拉網, 就把困苦人擄去"

18. 10:10-11      新譯: 他摔壓獵物使之昏迷不醒,
                                    失去知覺倒在他爪牙之下.
                                    他又自言自語:
                                   "神已忘了, 祂掩面永不察看."
                            原譯: 他屈身蹲伏,
                                     無依無靠的人就倒在他爪牙之下.
                                     他心裏說: "神竟忘記了,
                                     他掩面永不觀看."
                             英文: His victims are crushed, they collaspse;
                                      they fall under his strength.
                                      He says to himself, "God has forgotten;
                                      he covers his face and never see."
                              說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
                                      1. His victims are crushed, they collaspse; they fall under his strength
                                            應譯 "他摔壓獵物使之昏迷不醒, 失去知覺倒在他爪牙之下"
                                            非 "他屈身蹲伏, 無依無靠的人就倒在他爪牙之下"
                                            未將 collapse "昏迷" 譯出, 應補上.
                                       2. sees 應譯 "察看" 較 "觀看" 切合原意.

19.   10:14-15       新譯: 神啊!
                                        你確看見憂患愁苦,
                                        而且親手加以掌控;
                                        受害的人都來向你投靠,
                                        因你一向幫助無父孤兒.
                                        求你打斷惡人和壞人的膀臂,
                                        並追究他們隱而不顯的惡行.
                               原譯: 神啊!
                                        其實你已經觀看, 因為奸惡毒害,
                                        你都看見了, 為要以手施行報應.
                                        無依無靠的人把自己交託你,
                                        你向來要幫助孤兒的.
                                        願你打斷惡人的膀臂,
                                        至於壞人, 願你追究他的惡, 直到淨盡.
                                英文: But you, O God,
                                         do see trouble and grief;
                                         you consider it to take it in hand.
                                         The victim commits himself to you;
                                         you are the helper of the fatherless.
                                         Break the arm of the wicked and evil man;
                                 說明: 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
                                         1. trouble and grief 應譯 "憂患愁苦" 非 "奸惡毒害"
                                         2. take it in hand 應譯 "掌控" 非 "以手施行報應"
                                         3. The victim commits himself to you 應譯 "受害的人" 非 "無依無靠的人"
                                               應譯 "受害的人都來向你投靠" 非 "無依無靠的人把自己交託你"
                                         4. Break the arm of the wicked and evil man 未將 evil man 譯出, 應補上.
                                         5. would not be found out 應譯 "隱而不顯" 非 "直到淨盡"

20.   10:17-18 新譯: 耶和華啊!
                                  求你垂聽困苦者的心聲,
                                  堅固他們的心志,
                                  傾聽他們的呼求.
                                  護佑孤兒及受欺壓者,
                                  使地上的人不再恐懼.
                         原譯: 耶和華啊! 謙卑人的心願,
                                   你早已知道,
                                   你必預備他們的心,
                                   也必側耳聽他們的祈求.
                                   為要給孤兒和受欺壓的人伸冤,
                                   使強橫的人不再威嚇他們.
                          英文: You hear, O Lord,
                                    the desire of the afflicted;
                                    you encourge them,
                                    and you listen to their cry,
                                    defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
                                    in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
                           說明: 原譯西式語氣太重,且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
                                  1. hear 應譯 "垂聽" 非 "早已知道" / the afflicted 應譯 "困苦者" 非 "謙卑人"
                                   2. you encourage them 譯 "堅固他們的心志" 較 "你必預備他們的心" 切合原意.
                                   3. in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more
                                       應譯 "使地上的人不再恐懼" 非 "使強橫的人不再威嚇他們"
                                       man, who is of the earth 應譯 "地上的人" 非 "強橫的人"