詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析(II)
21-40
21. 12:5 新譯: 耶和華說: "因弱小受欺凌,
貧困在呻吟;
我定要起來,
保護他們免受欺凌."
原譯: 耶和華說: "因為困苦人的冤屈
和貧窮人的嘆息,
我現在要起來,
把他安置在他所切慕的穩妥之地."
英文: "Because of the oppression of the weak
and the groaning of the needy,
I will now arise," says the Lord,
"I will protect them from those who malign them."
說明: 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. oppression 應譯 "欺凌" 非 "冤屈" / groaning "呻吟" 非 "嘆息".
2. I will protect them from those who malign them
應譯 "保護他們免受欺凌" 非 "把他安置在他所切慕的穩妥之地"
22. 12:7-8 新譯: 耶和華啊, 你必保我們平安,
保護我們永遠遠離那些人.
邪惡在世人中高舉,
惡人就會四處橫行.
原譯: 耶和華啊, 你必保護他們,
你必保佑他們永遠脫離這世代的人.
下流人在世人中升高,
就有惡人到處遊行.
英文: O Lord, you will keep us safe
and protect us from such people forever.
The wicked freely strut about
when what is vile is honored among men.
說明: 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. you will keep us safe 應譯 "你必保我們平安" 非 "你必保護他們"
2. protect us from such people forever
應譯 "保護我們永遠遠離那些人" 非 "你必保佑他們永遠脫離這世代的人"
3. The wicked freely strut about
譯 "惡人就會四處橫行" 較 "就有惡人到處遊行" 雅達.
4. when what is vile is honored among men.
應譯 "邪惡在世人中高舉" 非 "下流人在世人中升高"
23. 13:2 新譯: 我心裏在掙扎, 終日內心愁苦,
還要到幾時呢?
我的仇敵勝過我更要到幾時呢?
原譯: 我心裏籌算, 終日愁苦要到幾時呢?
我的仇敵升高壓制我要到幾時呢?
英文: How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔, 應加潤飾改正如新譯.
1. wrestle 應譯 "掙扎" 非 "籌算"
2. sorrow in my heart 應譯 "內心愁苦", "內心"未譯出.
3. triumph over me 應譯 "勝過我" 非 "升高壓制我"
24. 14:4-6 新譯: 那些吞吃我的百姓像吃飯一樣,
和從不求告耶和華的邪惡之徒,
難道他們都得不到一點教訓嗎?
其實他們都滿懷恐懼,
因神與義人站在一起.
惡人在干擾窮人的生計,
耶和華卻是窮人避難所.
原譯: 作孽的都沒有知識嗎?
他們吞吃我的百姓如同吃飯一樣,
並不求告耶和華.
他們在那裏大大地害怕,
因為神在義人的族類中.
你們叫困苦人的謀算變為羞辱,
然而耶和華是他的避難所.
英文: Will evilerdoers ever learn -
those who devour my people as men eat bread
and who do not call on me?
There they are, overwhelmed with dread,
for God is present in the company of the righteous.
The evildoers frustrate the plans of the poor,
but the Lord is their refuge.
說明: 原譯有誤,且西式語氣太重, 應加潤飾改正.
1. Will evilerdoers ever learn -
應譯 "難道他們都得不到一點教訓嗎" 非 "作孽的都沒有知識嗎"
2. overhelmed with dread 譯 "滿懷恐懼" 較 "大大地害怕" 簡潔達意.
3. for God is present in the company of the righteous.
應譯 "神與義人站在一起" 非 "神在義人的族類中"
4. The evildoers frustrate the plans of the poor,
應譯 "惡人在干擾窮人的生計" 非 "你們叫困苦人的謀算變為羞辱"
25. 15:2-3 新譯: 唯有行為正直, 作事公義,
心說實話, 舌不傷人,
善待鄰里, 與人為善的人才配.
原譯: 就是行為正直, 作事公義,
心裏說實話的人, 他不以舌頭讒謗人,
不惡待朋友, 也不隨夥毀謗鄰里.
英文: He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong and cast no slur on his fellowman.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔工整, 應修正改譯.
第2,3節係回答第1節所問, 應合譯, "唯有...的人才配." 一氣呵神, 直接了當.
1. who speaks the truth from his heart 譯 "心說實話" 較 "心裏說實話的人" 簡明.
2. has no slander on his tongue 譯 "舌不傷人" 較 "他不以舌頭讒謗人" 簡明.
3. who does his neighbor no wrong 應譯 "善待鄰里" 非 "不隨夥毀謗鄰里"
4. cast no slur on his fellowman 應譯 "與人為善" 非 "不惡待朋友"
26. 17:10-12 新譯: 他們緊閉冷酷無情的心,
口裏說盡驕傲狂妄的話.
他們追蹤我現在圍困我;
緊盯著我為要把我摔倒.
他們像餓極獵食的獅子,
又像蹲伏隱密處的猛獅.
原譯: 他們的心被油脂包裹,
他們用口說驕傲的話.
他們圍困了我們的腳步;
他們瞪著眼, 要把我們推倒在地.
他像獅子急要抓食,
又像少壯獅子蹲伏在暗處.
英文: They close up their callous hearts,
and their mouths speak with arrogance.
They have tracked me down, they now surround me,
with eyes alert, to throw me to the ground.
、 They are like a lion hungry for prey,
like a great lion crouching in cover.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 又欠通順工整, 應加潤飾改譯.
1. They close up their callous hearts 誤譯 "心被油脂包裹"
應譯 "他們緊閉冷酷無情的心" 非 "他們的心被油脂包裹"
2. arrogance 譯 "驕傲狂妄" 較 "驕傲" 切合原意.
3. They have tracked me down, they now surround me,
應譯 "他們追蹤我現在圍困我" 非 "他們圍困了我們的腳步"
4. with eyes alert 譯 "緊盯著" 較 "瞪著眼" 切合原意.
5. hungry for prey 譯 "餓極獵食" 較 "急要抓食" 恰切.
6. great lion 譯"猛獅" 較 "少壯獅子" 切合原意.
in cover 譯"隱密處" 較 "暗處" 切合原意.
27. 17:14.2-15 新譯: 你仍是你珍愛的人渴望的神,
他們的兒女豐衣足食,
他們為子孫積聚財富.
至於我, 必能在義中見你的面,
當我醒來的時候,
能見到你的尊容, 就心滿意足了.
原譯: 你把你的財寶充滿他們的肚腹;
他們因有兒女就心滿意足,
將其餘的財物留給他們的嬰孩.
至於我, 我必在義中見你的面;
我醒了的時候, 得見你的形像,
就心滿意足了.
英文: You still the hunger of those you cherish;
their sons have plenty,
and they store up wealth for their children.
And I - in righteousness I will see your face;
when I awake,
I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 又欠通順工整, 應加潤飾改譯.
1. You still the hunger of those you cherish
應譯 "你仍是你珍愛的人渴望的神" 非 "你把你的財寶充滿他們的肚腹"
2. their sons have plenty
應譯 "他們的兒女豐衣足食" 非 "他們因有兒女就心滿意足"
3. and they store up wealth for their children
應譯 "他們為子孫積聚財富" 非 "將其餘的財物留給他們的嬰孩"
4. your likeness 譯 "尊容" 較 "形像" 切合原意.
28. 18:4-6 新譯: 死亡的繩索纏困我,
毀滅的洪流淹沒我.
陰間的繩索纏繞我,
死亡的網羅撒向我.
我在危難中呼求耶和華,
並且急切向我的主求助,
衪從殿中聽到我的聲音,
我的呼求達衪面入衪耳.
原譯: 曾有死亡的繩索纏繞我,
匪類的急流使我驚懼.
陰間的繩索纏繞我,
死亡的網羅臨到我.
我在急難中求告耶和華,
向我的神呼求.
衪從殿中聽了我的聲音,
我在他面前的呼求入了他的耳中.
英文: The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my Lord for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
說明: 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 又欠通順工整, 應加潤飾改譯.
1. torrents of destruction 原譯 "匪類的急流" 不知所云, 應譯 "毀滅的洪流"
2. overwhelmed me 應譯 "淹沒我" 非 "使我驚懼"
3. confronted me 譯 "撤向我" 較 "臨到我" 生動切題.
4. I cried to my Lord for help 應譯 "並且急切向我的主求助" 非 "向我的神呼求"
5. my cry came before him, into his ears
譯 "我的呼求達衪面入衪耳" 較 "我在他面前的呼求入了他的耳中" 簡潔達意.
29. 18:9 原譯有誤, 且欠通順, 應修正如新譯.
新譯: 衪離開天庭親自降臨,
烏雲盤旋在衪的腳下.
原譯: 他又使天下垂, 親自降臨,
有黑雲在他腳下.
英文: He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
說明: 1. He parted the heavens 誤譯 "他又使天下垂" 應譯 "衪離開天庭"
2. dark clouds were under his feet
譯 "烏雲盤旋在衪的腳下" 較 "有黑雲在他腳下" 恰切雅達.
30. 18:11-13 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 衪以黑暗作為掩護,
天空黑雨雲作華蓋.
密雲帶著冰雹和閃電,
從祂光輝的面前掠過.
耶和華在高天上打雷,
至高者立即發出回響.
原譯: 他以黑暗為藏身之處,
以水的黑暗, 天空的厚雲為他四圍的行宮.
因他面前光的輝, 他的厚雲行過,
便有冰雹火炭.
耶和華也在天上打雷,
至高者發出聲音, 便有冰雹火炭.
英文: He made darkness his covering , his canopy around him -
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and boltd of lightning.
The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most high resounded .
說明: 1. He made darkness his covering
譯 "衪以黑暗作為掩護" 較 "他以黑暗為藏身之處" 恰切雅達.
2. his canopy around him - the dark rain clouds of the sky
譯 "天空黑雨雲作華蓋" 較 "以水的黑暗, 天空的厚雲為他四圍的行宮" 恰切雅達.
3. Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced
譯 "從祂光輝的面前掠過" 較 "因他面前光的輝, 他的厚雲行過" 恰切雅達.
4. with hailstones and boltd of lightning 應譯 "密雲帶著冰雹和閃電" 非 "便有冰雹火炭"
5. the voice of the Most high resounded.
應譯 "至高者立即發出回響" 非 "至高者發出聲音, 便有冰雹火炭"
resounded 誤為上節 "冰雹火炭" 應譯 "回響"
31. 18:14-15 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 祂射的箭使仇敵四散,
頻發閃電使他們潰敗,
耶和華啊,
你鼻孔斥責的氣一出,
海谷隆起地基也裸露.
原譯: 他射出箭來, 使仇敵四散;
多多發出閃電, 使他們擾亂.
耶和華啊,
你的斥責一發, 你鼻孔的氣一出,
海底就出現, 大地的根基也顯露.
英文: He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.
The valley of the sea were exposed
and the foundation of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, O Lord,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.
說明: 1. He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies
譯 "祂射的箭使仇敵四散" 較 "他射出箭來, 使仇敵四散" 簡明恰切.
2. great bolts of lightning and routed them.
應譯 "頻發閃電使他們潰敗" 非 "多多發出閃電, 使他們擾亂"
3. The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundation of the earth laid bare
譯 "海谷隆起地基也裸露" 較 "海底就出現, 大地的根基也顯露" 簡潔通順.
4. at the blast of breath from your nostrils
譯 "你鼻孔斥責的氣一出" 較 "你的斥責一發, 你鼻孔的氣一出" 簡潔通順.
32. 18:25-27 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 對信實的人, 你彰顯你的信實;
對完美的人, 你彰顯你的完美.
對純潔的人, 你彰顯你的純潔;
對狡詐的人, 你彰顯你的靈巧.
謙卑溫文的人, 你必拯救;
眼目高傲的人, 你必貶低.
原譯: 慈愛的人, 你以慈愛待他;
完全的人, 你以完全待他.
清潔的人, 你以清潔待他;
乖僻的人, 你以彎曲待他;
困苦的百姓, 你必拯救;
高傲的眼目, 你必使他降卑.
英文: To the faithful you show yourself faithful.
to the blameless you show yourself blameless.
to the pure you show yourself pure.
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.
You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.
說明: 1. show 譯 "彰顯" 較 "待" 恰切.
2. the faithful 應譯 "信實的人" 非 "慈愛的人"
3. the blameless 應譯 "完美的人" 非 "完全的人"
4. the pure 譯 "純潔的人" 較 "清潔的人" 恰切.
5. the crooked 應譯 "狡詐的人" 非 "乖僻"
shrew 應譯 "靈巧 " 非 "彎曲"
6. the humble 應譯 "謙卑溫文的人" 非" 困苦的百姓"
7. bring low 譯 "貶低" 較 "降卑" 切合原意.
whose eyes are haughty 應譯 "眼目高傲的人" 非" 高傲的眼目"
33. 18:28-29 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 耶和華啊! 你使我的燈長明,
我的神使我的黑暗轉為光明.
藉你的助力, 我能進攻敵軍;
藉著我的神, 我能攀越城牆.
原譯: 你必點著我的燈,
耶和華我的神必照明我的黑暗.
我藉著你衝入敵軍;
藉著我的神跳過牆垣.
英文: You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall.
說明: 1. keep my lamp burning 應譯 "使我的燈長明" 非 "點著我的燈"
2. turns my darkness into light 應譯 "使我的黑暗轉為光明" 非 "照明我的黑暗"
3. advance against a troops 譯 "進攻敵軍" 較 "衝入敵軍" 恰切.
4. scale a wall 譯 "攀越城牆" 較 "跳過牆垣" 恰切.
34. 18:32-33 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 神以衪大能裝備我,
使我行為完美正直.
衪使我的腳像鹿蹄,
能夠在高峭處站穩.
原譯: 惟有那以力量束我的腰,
使我行為完全的, 他是神.
他使我的腳快如母鹿的蹄,
又使我在高處安穩.
英文: It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
說明: 1. arms me with strength 應譯 "以大能裝備我" 非 "以力量束我的腰"
2. makes my way perfect 應譯 "使我行為完美正直" 非 "使我行為完全的, 他是神"
3. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer
應譯 "衪使我的腳像鹿蹄" 非 "他使我的腳快如母鹿的蹄"
4. to stand on the heights 譯 "在高峭處站穩" 較 "在高處安穩" 恰切.
35. 18:34-36 原譯有誤, 且欠通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 祂教導我的手作戰,
使我的臂能拉銅弓.
你賜我得勝的盾牌,
你的右手在扶持我.
彎下腰身使我壯大.
使我腳下道路寬闊,
讓我的雙腳能站穩.
原譯: 祂教導我的手能以爭戰,
甚至我的膀臂能開銅弓.
你把你的救恩給我作盾牌,
你的右手扶持我.
你的溫和使我為大.
你使我腳下的地步寬闊,
我的腳末曾滑跌.
英文: He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.
說明: 1. You give me your shield of victory
應譯 "你賜我得勝的盾牌" 非 "你把你的救恩給我作盾牌"
2. you stoop down to make me great
應譯 "彎下腰身使我壯大" 非 "你的溫和使我為大"
3. You broaden the path beneath me
譯 "使我腳下道路寬闊" 較 "你使我腳下的地步寬闊" 簡潔恰切.
4. so that my ankles do not turn
應譯 "讓我的雙腳能站穩" 非 "我的腳末曾滑跌"
36. 18:38-40 原譯有誤, 且西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾修正.
新譯: 我要粉碎他們永不再起,
讓他們都倒在我的腳下.
你以大能裝備我, 使我能征慣戰,
並且使我的敵人, 屈服在我腳下.
你使我的敵人陣前敗逃,
讓我得以殲滅我的仇敵.
原譯: 我要打傷他們, 使他們不能起來,
他們必倒在我的腳下.
因為你曾以力量束我的腰, 使我能爭戰;
你也使那起來攻擊我的, 都服在我以下.
你又使我的仇敵在我面前轉背逃跑,
叫我能以剪除那恨我的人.
英文: I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
You armed me with strength for battle;
you made my adversaries bow at my feet.
you made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foe.
說明: 1. crushed 譯 "粉碎" 較 "打傷" 切合原意.
2. You armed me with strength for battle
應譯 "你以大能裝備我, 使我能征慣戰" 非 "因為你曾以力量束我的腰, 使我能爭戰"
3. you made my adversaries bow at my feet
應譯 "並且使我的敵人, 屈服在我腳下" 非 "你也使那起來攻擊我的, 都服在我以下"
4. you made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
應譯 "你使我的敵人陣前敗逃" 非 "你又使我的仇敵在我面前轉背逃跑"
5. and I destroyed my foe.
應譯 "讓我得以殲滅我的仇敵" 非 "叫我能以剪除那恨我的人"
37. 21:1-2 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾修正.
新譯: 耶和華啊, 王因你的大能, 滿心歡欣;
因你賜的勝利, 大大喜樂!
他心中所欲, 你全賜他;
他嘴唇所求, 你沒拒絕.
原譯: 耶和華啊, 王必因你的能力歡喜;
因你的救恩, 他的快樂何其大!
他心裏所願的, 你已經賜給他;
他嘴唇所求的, 你未嘗不應允.
英文: O Lord, the king rejoices in your strength.
How great is his joy in the victorious you give!
You have granted him the desire of his heart
and have not withheld the request of his lips.
說明: 1. strength 譯 "大能" 較 "能力" 切合原意.
2. victories 應譯 "勝利" 非 "救恩"
How great is 譯 "大大喜樂" 較 "他的快樂何其大" 雅達.
3. have not withheld 應譯 "沒有拒絕" 非 "未嘗不應允"
38. 22:3-5 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾修正.
新譯: 你是寶座上的聖者,
你是以色列的讚美.
我們的列祖信靠你,
信靠你就拯救他們.
他們哀求你, 便蒙解救;
他們信靠你, 就不失望.
原譯: 但你是聖潔的,
是用以色列的讚美為寶座的.
我們的祖宗倚靠你,
他們倚靠你, 就便解救他們.
他們哀求你, 便蒙解救;
他們倚靠你, 就不羞愧.
英文: Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Isreal,
In you our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.
說明: 1. Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
應譯 "你是寶座上的聖者" 非 "你是聖潔的"
2. you are the praise of Isreal,
應譯 "你是以色列的讚美" 非 "是用以色列的讚美為寶座的"
3. trust 譯 "信靠" 較 "依靠" 切合原意.
4. disappointed 應譯 "失望" 非 "羞愧"
39. 27:4-6 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾修正.
新譯: 我要求問耶和華一件我要追求事:
我一生一世要住在耶和華的殿中,
瞻仰衪的榮美並在衪殿中尋求祂.
因為在我遭逢災難的日子,
祂會在祂的居所保我安全;
把我隱藏在祂帳幕避難所,
並把我高高安置在磬石上.
我可以在圍困我敵人上面,
昂首挺胸;
在祂的神聖帳幕裏,
歡呼獻祭,
並唱詩頌讚耶和華!
原譯: 有一件事, 我曾求耶和華, 我仍要尋求;
就是一生一世住在耶和華的殿中,
瞻仰衪的榮美, 在他的殿裏求問.
因為我遭遇患難,
他必暗暗地保守我;
在他亭子裏, 把我藏在他帳幕的隱密處,
將我高舉在磬石上.
現在我得以昂首,
高過四面的仇敵;
我要在他的帳幕裏,
歡然獻祭,
我要唱詩歌頌耶和華!
英文: One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek;
That I may dwell in the the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle
will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.
說明: 1. 第4節
seek him 應譯 "尋求祂" 非 "求問" 應改正.
2. 第5節
(1) For in the day of trouble
譯 "因為在我遭逢災難的日子" 較 "因為我遭遇患難" 切合原意.
(2) he will keep me safe in his dwelling
應譯 "祂會在祂的居所保我安全" 非 "他必暗暗地保守我"
(3) he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
應譯 "把我隱藏在祂帳幕避難所" 非 "在他亭子裏, 把我藏在他帳幕的隱密處"
(4) and set me high upon a rock
應譯 "並把我高高安置在磬石上" 非 "將我高舉在磬石上" 切合原意.
3. 第6節
(1) Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me
應譯 "我可以在圍困我敵人上面, 昂首挺胸" 非 "現在我得以昂首, 高過四面的仇敵"
(2) shouts of joy 譯 "歡呼" 較 "歡然" 切合原意.
40. 27:7-8 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾修正.
新譯: 耶和華啊! 我呼求時,
求你垂聽我的聲音;
求你憐憫我回應我.
我的心說: "要尋求祂的面."
耶和華啊! 我要尋求你的面.
原譯: 耶和華啊! 我用聲音呼籲的時候,
求你垂聽;
並求你憐憫我, 應允我.
你說: "你們當尋求我的面."
那時我心向你說: "耶和華啊, 你的面我正要尋求."
英文: Hear my voice when I call,
O Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
說明: 1. Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
應譯 "耶和華啊! 我呼求時, 求你垂聽我的聲音"
非 "耶和華啊! 我用聲音呼籲的時候, 求你垂聽"
2. My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
應譯 "我的心說: '要尋求祂的面.'" 非 "你說: '你們當尋求我的面.'"
3. Your face, Lord, I will seek
應譯 "耶和華啊! 我要尋求你的面"
非 "那時我心向你說: '耶和華啊, 你的面我正要尋求.'"