詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析(IX) 161-162

                                           詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析(IX)
                                                       161-162

161.   146:3-4 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
          新譯: 你們不要靠權貴,
                    也不要依賴世人;
                    他們救不了你們.
                    他們的靈魂一離開, 就歸回塵土;
                    他們一生盤算, 即日歸零.
          原譯: 你們不要依靠君王,
                    不要依賴世人,
                    他一點不能幫助.
                    他們的氣一斷, 就歸回塵土;
                    他所打算的, 當日就消滅了.
          英文: Do not put your trust in princes,
                    in mortal men,
                    who cannot save.
                    When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
                    on that very day their plans come to nothing.
           說明: 1. princes 應譯 "權貴" 非 "君王" 切合原意.
                     2. who cannot save
                           應譯 "他們救不了你們" 非 "他一點不能幫助"
                     3. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
                           應譯 "他們的靈魂一離開, 就歸回塵土" 非 "他們的氣一斷, 就歸回塵土"
                     4. on that very day their plans come to nothing.
                           應譯 "他們一生盤算, 即日歸零" 非 "他所打算的, 當日就消滅了"

162.   148:7-11 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
          新譯: 大海的生物以及深洋啊!
                    雷電冰雹和雪花雲霧啊!
                    執行上天命令的狂風啊!
                    大山小山啊!
                    果樹柏樹啊!
                    野獸牲畜啊!
                    昆蟲飛鳥啊!
                    世上君王萬國啊!
                    地上權貴統領啊!
                    少男童女和老翁幼兒啊!
                    你們都要從地上讚美耶和華!
          原譯: 所有在地上的, 大魚和一切深洋,
                    火與冰雹, 雪和霧氣.
                    成就他命的狂風,
                    大山和小山,
                    結果的樹木和一切香柏樹,
                    野獸和一切牲畜,
                    昆蟲和飛鳥,
                    世上君王和萬民,
                    首領和世上一切審判官,
                    少年人和處女, 老年人和孩童,
                    都當讚美耶和華!
          英文: Praise the Lord from the earth,
                    you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,
                    lightning and hail, snow and clouds,
                    stormy winds that do his bidding,
                    you mountains and all hills,
                    fruit trees and all cedars,
                    wild animals and all cattle,
                    small creatures and flying birds.
                    kings of the earth and all nations,
                    you princes and all rulers on earth.
                    young men and maidens, old men and children.
            說明: 1. Praise the Lord from the earth 譯 "你們都要從地上讚美耶和華!"
                          應置本段最後一句, 全係感嘆句, 較合原意.
                      2. you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,
                             譯 "大海的生物以及深洋啊!" 較 "大魚和一切深洋" 切合原意.
                             great sea 應譯 "大海" 非 "大魚"
                      3. lightning and hail
                            應譯 "雷電冰雹" 非 "火與冰雹"
                       4. rulers 應譯 "統領" 非 "審判官"

                                                                           (全文完)

                                                                      感謝主, 讚美主,
                                                                     一切榮耀歸我主,
                                                                     哈利路亞, 阿們!

                                   2017年5月30日 端午節 台北 / 2019年6月18日再校 台北
                                    2020年4月16日.三校 台北 / 2020年8月6日.佈樂格 台北