詩篇譯文瑕疵剖析(V)
81-100
81. 60:4 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯,
新譯: 你為敬畏你的人高舉旌旗;
並且展開大旗去抵擋弓箭.
原譯: 你把旌旗賜給敬畏你的人,
可以為真理揚起來.
英文: But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner
to be unfurled against the bow.
說明: 1. have raised 應譯 "高舉" 非 "賜給"
2. to be unfurled against the bow
應譯 "展開大旗去抵擋弓箭" 非 "為真理揚起來"
82. 60:6 原譯有誤, 且欠簡潔通順, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 神在自己的聖所宣示:
"在得勝中, 我要分割示劍,
丈量疏割谷.
原譯: 神已經指著他的聖潔說:
"我要歡樂, 我要分開示劍,
丈量疏割谷.
英文: God has spoken from his sanctuary:
"In triumph I will parcel out Shechem
and measure off the Valley of Succoth.
說明: 1. God has spoken from his sanctuary
應譯 "神在自己的聖所宣示" 非 "神已經指著他的聖潔說"
2. In triumph 應譯 "在得勝中" 非 "我要歡樂"
83. 62:1-2 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯,
新譯: 在神裏面我心才得安息;
因我的救恩是從祂而來.
只有祂是我的磬石我的拯救;
祂是我的堡壘我必永不動搖.
原譯: 我的心默默無聲, 專等候神;
我的救恩是從他而來.
惟獨他是我的磬石, 我的拯救;
他是我的高臺, 我必不很動搖.
英文: My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
說明: 1. My soul finds rest in God alone
應譯 "在神裏面我心才得安息" 非 "我的心默默無聲, 專等候神"
2. he is my fortress, I will never be shaken
應譯 "祂是我的堡壘我必永不動搖" 非 "他是我的高臺, 我必不很動搖"
84. 62:3-4 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯,
新譯: 3 你們攻擊人要到幾時?
你們要一起把他摔倒,
像去推倒斜牆破壁嗎?
4 他們一心一意企圖,
把他從高位拉下來;
他們全都愛說謊言,
口雖祝福心卻咒詛.
原譯: 3 你們大家攻擊一人, 把他毀壞,
如同毀壞歪斜的牆, 將倒的壁,
要到幾時呢?
4 他們彼此商議,
專要從他的尊位上把他推下;
他們喜愛謊話,
口雖祝福, 心卻咒詛.
英文: 3 How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down -
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouth they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
說明: 1. 第3節應改譯如新譯, 較簡潔通順工整, 切合原意.
this leaning wall, this totteriing fence
譯 "斜牆破壁" 較 "毀壞歪斜的牆, 將倒的壁" 簡明雅達.
2. 第4節應改譯如新譯, 較簡潔通順工整, 切合原意.
fully intend 譯 "一心一悥企圖" 較 "彼此商議" 切合原意.
85. 62:9-10 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯,
新譯: 下流人只是口氣,
上流人也是虛空;
放在天平如無物,
加起來比氣還輕.
不要依靠搶來財寶,
不要炫耀偷來贓物;
財富雖增勿迷心竅.
原譯: 下流人真是虛空,
上流人也是虛徦;
放在天平裏就必浮起,
他們一共比空氣還輕.
不要仗勢欺人,
也不要因搶奪而驕傲;
若財寶加增, 不要放在心上.
英文: Lowborn men are but a breath;
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.
Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.
說明: 1. but a breath 應譯 "只是口氣" 非 "真是虛空"
2. if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
應譯 "放在天平如無物" 非 "放在天平裏就必浮起"
3. together they are only a breath
譯 "加起來比氣還輕" 較 "他們一共比空氣還輕" 恰切.
4. Do not trust in extortion
譯 "不要炫耀偷來贓物" 較 "也不要因搶奪而驕傲" 恰切.
5. do not set your heart on them
譯 "勿迷心竅" 較 "不要放在心上" 雅達.
86. 62:11-12 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯,
新譯: 神說了一件事,
我聽到二件事;
神啊, 你大有能力!
主啊, 你大有慈愛!
你必照各人所行報應人.
原譯: 神說了一次、兩次,
我都聽見,
就是能力都屬乎神.
主啊, 慈愛也是屬乎你,
因為你照著各人所行的報應他.
英文: One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,
and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.
說明: 1. One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard
應譯 "神說了一件事, 我聽到二件事" 非 "神說了一次、兩次, 我都聽見"
2. that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving
應譯 "神啊, 你大有能力! 主啊, 你大有慈愛!"
非 "就是能力都屬乎神. 主啊, 慈愛也是屬乎你"
3. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done
譯 "你必照各人所行報應人" 較 "因為你照著各人所行的報應他" 簡潔有力.
87. 64:3-4 原譯有誤, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯,
新譯: 他們磨舌如利劍,
開口出言如毒箭.
他們埋伏暗射無辜的人,
趁人不備發箭毫不愧怯.
原譯: 他們磨舌如刀, 發出苦毒的言語,
好像比準了的箭.
要在暗地射完全人.
他們忽然射他, 並不懼怕.
英文: They sharpen their tongues like swords
and aim their words like deadly arrows.
They shoot from ambush at the innocent man;
they shoot at him suddenly, without fear.
說明: 1. and aim their words like deadly arrows.
應譯 "開口出言如毒箭" 非 "好像比準了的箭"
2. They shoot from ambush at the innocent man
應譯 "他們埋伏暗射無辜的人" 非 "要在暗地射完全人"
3. they shoot at him suddenly, without fear
應譯 "趁人不備發箭毫不愧怯" 非 "他們忽然射他, 並不懼怕"
88. 64:5-6 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 他們彼此鼓勵, 各出惡計;
共謀合商, 暗設羅網,
並說: "誰能看見呢?"
他們謀劃不公不義, 說:
"我們的計謀天衣無縫!"
人的心思意念實在狡詐.
原譯: 他們彼此勉勵設下惡計;
他們商量暗設羅網說:
"誰能看見?"
他們圖謀奸惡說:
"我們是極力圖謀的."
他們各人的意念心思是深的.
英文: They encourge each other in evil plans,
they talk about hiding their snares;
they say, "Who will see them?"
They plot injustice and say,
"We have devised a perfect plan!"
Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning.
說明: 1. They plot injustice and say
應譯 "他們謀劃不公不義, 說:" 非 "他們圖謀奸惡說:"
2. We have devised a perfect plan
應譯 "我們的計謀天衣無縫" 非 "我們是極力圖謀的"
3. Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning
應譯 "人的心思意念實在狡詐" 非 "他們各人的意念心思是深的"
89. 64:7-8 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 但是神要放箭射他們,
讓他們突然中箭倒地.
衪使他們的舌傷自己,
並且使他們全都毀滅;
看見他們的搖頭冷笑.
原譯: 但是神要射他們,
他們忽然被箭射傷.
他們必然絆跌,
被自己的的舌頭所害;
凡看見他們的必都搖頭.
英文: But God will shoot them with arrows;
suddenly they will be struck down.
He will turn their own tongues against them
and bring them to ruin;
all who see them will shake their heads in scorn.
說明: 1. suddenly they will be struck down
應譯 "讓他們突然中箭倒地" 非 "他們忽然被箭射傷"
2. and bring them to ruin
應譯 "並且使他們全都毀滅" 非 "他們必然絆跌"
3. all who see them will shake their heads in scorn
應譯 "看見他們的搖頭冷笑" 非 "凡看見他們的必都搖頭"
90. 65:11-13 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 你以恩典作年歲冠冕,
並使你糧車滿載豐收.
曠野草場一片碧綠,
山丘岡陵洋溢快樂.
草場上遍地是牛羊,
山谷中長滿了五穀,
到處洋溢歡樂歌唱.
原譯: 你以恩典為年歲的冠冕,
你的路徑都滴下油脂.
滴在曠野的草場上.
小山以歡樂束腰,
草場以羊群為衣,
谷中也長滿了五穀,
這一切都歡呼歌唱!
英文: You crown the year with your bounty,
and your carts overflow with abundance.
The grasslands of the desert overflow;
the hills are clothed with gladness.
The meadow are covered with flocks
and the valleys are mantled with grain;
they shout for joy and sing.
說明: 1. your carts overflow with abundance
應譯 "並使你糧車滿載豐收" 非 "你的路徑都滴下油脂"
2. The grasslands of the desert overflow
應譯 "曠野草場一片碧綠" 非 "滴在曠野的草場上"
3. the hills are clothed with gladness
應譯 "山丘岡陵洋溢快樂" 非 "小山以歡樂束腰"
4. The meadow are covered with flocks
應譯 "草場上遍地是牛羊" 非 "草場以羊群為衣"
5. they shout for joy and sing
譯 "到處洋溢歡樂歌唱" 較 "這一切都歡呼歌唱" 雅達.
91. 66:2-4 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 歌頌衪名的榮耀,
並榮耀衪的讚美!
要對神說: "你的作為何其可畏!
你的仇敵在你面前戰抖.
全地都要向你俯伏敬拜,
他們都歌頌讚美你的名."
原譯: 歌頌衪名的榮耀,
用讚美的言語將他的榮耀發明.
當對神說: "你的作為何等可畏!
因你的大能, 仇敵要投降你.
全地要敬拜你,
歌頌你, 要歌頌你的名."
英文: Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!
Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds!
that your enemies cringe before you.
All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to your name."
說明: 1. make his praise glorious
應譯 "榮耀衪的讚美" 非 "用讚美的言語將他的榮耀發明"
"榮耀發明" 不知何意?
2. your enemies cringe before you
應譯 "你的仇敵在你面前戰抖" 非 "因你的大能, 仇敵要投降你"
3. they sing praise to your name
譯 "他們都歌頌讚美你的名" 較 "歌頌你, 要歌頌你的名" 工整雅達.
92. 68:4-6 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 你們要向神歌唱, 歌頌衪的名!
頌揚馳騁雲上的至尊,
衪的名字就叫耶和華;
你們要在衪面前歡樂.
神在衪居往的聖所中,
作孤兒的父親, 寡婦的護衛.
神叫孤獨的有家的溫暖,
衪用歌唱引領被囚的人;
悖逆者必陷烈日焦土中.
原譯: 你們當向神唱詩, 歌頌他的名!
為那坐車行過曠野的修平去路.
衪的名是耶和華,
要在他面前歡樂.
神在他的聖所作孤兒的父,
作寡婦的伸冤者.
神叫孤獨的有家,
使被囚的出來享福,
惟有悖逆的住在乾燥之地.
英文: Sing to God, sing praise to his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds -
his name is the Lord -
and rejoice before him.
a father to fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in families,
he leads forth the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun scorched land.
說明: 1. 英文本採 extol him who rides on the clouds
應譯 "頌揚馳騁雲上的至尊" 非 "為那坐車行過曠野的修平去路"
2. defender 譯 "護衛" 較 "伸冤者" 切合原意.
3. God sets the lonely in families
應譯 "神叫孤獨的有家的溫暖" 非 "神叫孤獨的有家"
4, he leads forth the prisoners with singing;
應譯 "衪用歌唱引領被囚的人" 非 "使被囚的出來享福"
5. but the rebellious live in a sun scorched land.
應譯 "悖逆者必陷烈日焦土" 非 "惟有悖逆的住在乾燥之地"
93. 68:8-10 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 在西奈山的神, 以色列的神面前,
地在猛烈震動, 天下傾盆大雨;
神啊! 你賜充沛甘霖,
滋潤你貧脊的田地.
讓你子民居住其上,
神啊! 你為貧苦的人,
預備好豐盛的一切.
原譯: 那時, 地見神的面而震動, 天也落雨;
西奈山見以色列神的面也震動.
神啊! 你降下大雨.
你產業以色列疲乏的時候,
你使他堅固.
你的會眾住在其中,
神啊! 你的恩惠是為困苦人預備的.
英文: the earth shook, the heavens poured down rain,
before God, the One of Sanai; before God, the God of Isreal.
You gave abundant showers, O God;
you refreshed your weary inheritance.
Your people settled in it,
and from your bounty, O God,
you provided for the poor.
說明: 1. 第8節新譯較原譯通順達意.
the heavens poured down rain 譯 "天下傾盆大雨" 較 "天也落雨" 雅達.
2. you refreshed your weary inheritance
應譯 "滋潤你貧脊的田地" 非 "你產業以色列疲乏的時候, 你使他堅固"
3. from your bounty, O God, you provided for the poor
應譯 "神啊! 你為貧苦的人, 預備好豐盛的一切"
非 "神啊! 你的恩惠是為困苦人預備的"
94. 68:15-17 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 巴珊山高聳奇偉,
是多峰多嶺的山.
多峰多嶺的山哪!
為何嫉視神選中統管
而且要永遠居住的山?
神的車騎成千上萬,
累萬盈千;
主已從西奈山來到衪的聖所.
原譯: 巴珊山是神的山,
巴珊山是多峰多嶺的山.
你們多峰多嶺的山哪,
為何斜看神所願居住的山?
耶和華必住這山, 直到永遠.
神的車輦累萬盈千,
主在其中,
好像在西奈聖山一樣.
英文: The mountains of Bashan are majestic mountains;
rugged are the mountains of Bashan.
Why gaze in envy, O rugged mountains,
at the mountain where God choose to reign,
where the Lord himself will dwell forever?
The chariots of God are tens of thousands;
and thousand of thousands;
說明: 1. The mountains of Bashan are majestic mountains
應譯 "巴珊山高聳奇偉" 非 "巴珊山是神的山"
2. gaze in envy 應譯 "嫉視" 非 "斜看"
choose to reign 應譯 "選中統管" 非 "所願居住"
3. The chariots of God 譯 "神的車騎" 較 "神的車輦" 通俗.
4. the Lord has come from Sinai into his sanctuary
應譯 "主已從西奈山來到衪的聖所" 非 "主在其中, 好像在西奈聖山一樣"
95. 68:18 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 你帶著擄民隨行的隊伍,
高升上騰;
你接受世人甚至叛徒的獻禮,
耶和華神啊,
就讓他們在那裏與你同住吧!
原譯: 你已經升上高天
擄掠仇敵;
你在人間
就是在悖逆的人間受了供獻,
叫耶和華神可以與他們同住.
英文: When you ascended on high,
you led captives in your train;
you received gifts from men, even from the rebellious -
that they, O Lord God,
might dwell there.
說明: 1. When you ascended on high, you led captives in your train
應譯 "你帶著擄民隨行的隊伍, 高升上騰" 非 "你已經升上高天擄掠仇敵"
2. you received gifts from men, even from the rebellious
應譯 "你接受世人甚至叛徒的獻禮" 非 "你在人間就是在悖逆的人間受了供獻"
3. that they, O Lord God, might dwell there
應譯 "就讓他們在那裏與你同住吧" 較 "叫耶和華神可以與他們同住" 切合原意.
96.. 68:21-23 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 神必打碎仇敵的頭顱,
即犯罪呻吟者的髮頂.
主說: "我必把他們從巴珊,
從深海抓回來.
好叫你們的腳踹仇敵的鮮血,
你們的狗也有份舔他們的血."
原譯: 但神要打破他仇敵的頭,
就是那常犯罪之人的髮頂.
主說: "我要使眾民從巴珊而歸,
使他們從深海而回.
使你打碎仇敵, 你的腳踹在血中,
使你狗的舌頭從其中得分."
英文: Surely God will crush the heads of his enemies,
the hairy crowns of those who groan in their sins.
The Lord says, "I will bring them from Bashan;
I will bring them from the depths of the seas,
that you may plunge your feet in the blood of your foes,
while the tongues of your dogs have their share."
說明: 1. those who groan in their sins
應譯 "犯罪呻吟者" 非 "那常犯罪之人"
2. I will bring them from Bashan; I will bring them from the depths of the seas
應譯 "我必把他們從巴珊, 從深海抓回來"
非 "我要使眾民從巴珊而歸, 使他們從深海而回"
本節 "them(他們)" 指上節 "enemies(仇敵)"
非 "眾民" 故 bring 應譯 "抓回來" 非 "而歸(回)"
3. 第23節新譯較原譯通順工整達意.
97. 68:24-25 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 神啊! 我們看見你的遊行隊伍,
那是我們的神, 我們的王,
進入聖所的遊行隊伍.
歌唱的在前, 吹奏的在後;
還有擊鼓少女伴隨.
原譯: 神啊! 你是我的神, 我的王;
人已經看見你行走, 進入聖所.
歌唱的行在前,
作樂的隨在後,
都在擊鼓的童女中間.
英文: Your procession has come into view, O God,
the procession of
my God and King into the sanctuary.
In front are the singers, after them the musicians;
with them are the maidens playing tambourines.
說明: 1. procession 應譯 "遊行隊伍" 非 只"行走"
2. 未將 the procession of my God and King into the sanctuary
(那是我們的神, 我們的王, 進入聖所的遊行隊伍) 譯出, 應補上.
3. with them are the maidens playing tambourines
應譯 "還有擊鼓少女伴隨" 非 "都在擊鼓的童女中間"
98. 68:26-27 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 你們都要在大會中讚美神,
在以色列會中讚美耶和華.
便雅憫小支派帶領他們,
其中還有大群猶大領袖,
西布倫和拿弗他利領袖.
原譯: 從以色列源頭來的,
當在各會中稱頌主神.
在那裏有統管他們的小便雅憫,
有猶大的首領和他們的群眾,
有西布倫的首領, 有拿弗他利的首領.
英文: Praise God in the great congregation;
praise the Lord in the assembly of Isreal.
There is the little tribe of Benjamin, leading them,
there the great throng of Judah's princes,
and there the princes of Zebulun and of Naphtali.
說明: 1. in the great congregation 應譯 "在大會中" 非 "在各會中"
in the assembly of Isreal 應譯 "在以色列會中" 非 "從以色列源頭來的"
2. There is the little tribe of Benjamin, leading them,
應譯 "便雅憫小支派帶領他們" 非 "在那裏有統管他們的小便雅憫"
3. great throng of Judah's princes,
應譯 "大群猶大領袖" 非 "猶大的首領和他們的群眾"
99. 68:28-29 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 神啊, 求你彰顯你的大能!
神啊, 求你展現你為我們施展過的力量!
因你在耶路撒冷的聖殿,
眾王都要前來向你朝貢.
原譯: 以色列的能力是神所賜的.
神啊, 求你堅固你為我們所成全的事
因你耶路撒冷的殿,
列王必帶貢物獻給你.
英文: Summon your power, O God;
show us your strength, O God, as you have done before.
Because of your temple at Jerusalem
kings will bring you gifts.
說明: 1. 第28節誤譯, 應改譯如新譯.
2. kings will bring you gifts
譯 "眾王都要前來向你朝貢" 較 "列王必帶貢物獻給你" 工整雅達.
100. 68:30-31 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠簡潔通順工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 求你責罰蘆葦中的野獸,
以及列國牛群中的公牛;
使貪愛銀塊的人謙卑,
好戰的列國潰敗四散.
埃及必遣使節來朝,
古實也要向神稱臣.
原譯: 求你叱喝蘆葦中的野獸和群公牛,
並列邦中的牛犢,
把銀塊踹在腳下;
神已經趕散好爭戰的列邦.
埃及的公侯要出來朝見神;
古實要急忙舉手禱告.
英文: Rebuke the beast among the reeds,
the herd of bulls among the calves of the nations.
Humbled, may it bring bars of silver.
Scatter the nations who delight in war.
Envoy will come from Egypt;
Cush will submit herself to God.
說明: 1. Rebuke 譯 "責罰" 較 "叱喝" 恰切.
2. the herd of bulls among the calves of the nations
應譯 "以及列國牛群中的公牛" 非 "並列邦中的牛犢"
3. Humbled, may it bring bars of silver
應譯 "使貪愛銀塊的人謙卑" 非 "把銀塊踹在腳下"
4. 第31節新譯較原譯正確通順工整達意.
submit herself 應譯 "稱臣" 非 "急忙舉手禱告"
131. 92:12-15 原譯有誤, 西式語氣太重, 且欠通順簡潔工整, 應加潤飾如新譯.
新譯: 義人必興旺如棕櫚樹,
生長如黎巴嫩香柏木.
栽種在耶和華的殿中,
繁盛在我們神的院裏.
年老仍結果子,
永保新鮮青翠.
這充份顯明: "耶和華是正直的,
衪是我的磬石, 衪沒絲毫邪惡."
原譯: 義人要發旺如棕樹,
生長如黎巴嫩的香柏樹.
他們栽於耶和華的殿中,
發旺在我們神的院裏.
他們年老的時候仍要結果子,
更滿了汁漿而常發青.
好顯明耶和華是正直的,
他是我的磬石, 在他毫無不義.
英文: The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
Planted in the house of the Lord,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
proclaiming, "The Lord is upright,
he is my Rock and there is no wickedness in him."
說明: 1. they will flourish in the courts of our God
譯 "繁盛在我們神的院裏" 較 "發旺在我們神的院裏" 通順恰切.
2. They will still bear fruit in old age
譯 "年老仍結果子" 較 "他們年老的時候仍要結果子" 簡明通順.
3. they will stay fresh and green,
應譯 "永保新鮮青翠" 非 "更滿了汁漿而常發青"
4. no wickedness in him
應譯 "衪沒絲毫邪惡" 非 "在他毫無不義"
5. 未將 proclaiming(這充份顯明): "…" 譯出, 應補正.
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